Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
