I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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