what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
