You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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