How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize