I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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