her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
