uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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