Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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