Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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