so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
