Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So much Jack, so little girl.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
