At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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