idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
