I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
