singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
