Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life