11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
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I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.