so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.