i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.