i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.