1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
