he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No I am not eating basil off your cock
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Floor bacon is actually really good
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
