im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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