Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
