Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
