I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
