took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
