I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
