she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
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I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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