well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just blew my weed a kiss
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
