Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
