If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
