He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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