I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
