turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
