Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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