is your mom at the bar?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nutella sex= disaster
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
