You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
