I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize