I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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