dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
