Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
