im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
