Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
