He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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