i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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