So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
