My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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