don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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