Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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