if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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