Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
