Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
