THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
