exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize