I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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